Boxed Thought

Imagine hearing the sadness of your struggles showing up as a voice of anger.

Danger. We’re in danger.

We are no longer mad at our oppressors. We’re mad at ourselves for letting them put us against us.

C L Cunningham

📷 imagine courtesy of Netflix

@rxmirezx on Instagram

Treat me better

Early Sunday morning and I’m having a conversation with some of the fellas in the house. Real life is revealing it’s true self everyday.

As I listen. I learn the magnitude of my own mistakes. Improving my attitude toward others is always a constant battle for me.

I’m taking a real survey of my thinking process now a days. As I’m in a state of wondered later on this afternoon I had a moment of frustration.

I started to think. Why am I still waiting for life to treat me better? The key word is waiting. It implies that someone or something else is in charge. As the thought floated through my mind I decided to write it down. To come back to this concept.

  
4:15pm and I’m still stumped. 

Is it the amount of emphasis that I put on others to do what I want? Is it the amount of time that I waste hoping someone else will understand my wants and needs? Is it the lack of information that I am receiving or giving out that causes setbacks?

Looking into my own crystal ball 🔮 and I have to continue to find the strength to withstand my own issues.

Life has so much in store for me. Today I just want to be thankful for all of my joys.

C.L Cunningham 

Photo https://www.etsy.com/listing/118082866/print-journey-drawing-on-distressed?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share

Beautiful transition 

Doing one of my daily routines I came across a thought. Beautifully transitioning through life. 

As an overthinker and thought composer I playfully examine the things that I encounter constantly. I’m quickly reminded how important it is to live in the moment. Some things seem small or not important at the time that they appear. There’s almost no way of knowing the full importance of even a second of the day. Until you wake up with a epitome or a lightning bolt of imagination or determination which ever suits your fancy. 

Today I decided to time my time to look at the picture. Trying carefully not to miss even the littlest detail. I’m sure I can create it all in my mind but I believe the things created for me to see will be there if ever I’m ready to see them. I read the book the Alchemist yesterday. The story or stories written within a story left me gifted with insight and creative energy. A new look at the same things, a better perspective. I’m thankful for things to be grateful about. 

Not everyday is beautiful. Sometimes our lows are a bigger list than the thoughts of delightful emotions. And that’s alright. Send the energy forward for positive change in what is being seen. 

Easily it will begin to unfold in front of you. Life will become an open book of your beautiful transition to wherever it is that you desire to go. 

C. L Cunningham 

Wishing you love n light

  
Photo via https://www.cole-and-son.com/en/collection-438/

Hidden 

Searched but didn’t find what I was looking for. Instead I stumbled upon something I didn’t know was out there….

In a world of hidden people. Hidden agendas. Hidden desires. 

I find myself an outcast. When faced with the truth of oneself I’m often inclined to changes. I’m willing to redo or do over situations until I’ve found the perfect outcome.

Usually…
Today I woke up to another day of a hotel stay. Things with the ex didn’t work out as planned and now I’m in a bathroom typing this blog entry. 

Trying to gather up the things we’ve brought and hopefully get them all on a train to some friends. We’re going to regroup there and try again to find a place to call home.

Trip California has more plot twist than happy memories. I’ll take this too with a grain of salt. My true hope for this month was to have a place to comfortably bake cookies and put up fall decorations. Looks like that isn’t in the stars just yet. 

I’d get upset and start to ball crying but why and for what.?  Tough times is happening all around. It’s absolutely ok for me to feel what I feel. Nobody should bottle up their feelings. I’m just not in the mood for a pity party today…. maybe tomorrow though 😂.

I reserve the right to hide behind my smile. So many times I’ve felt the need to explain why I do what I do. I’m at the point where I’m tired of explaining. 

I’m at the point where I want to do whatever comes naturally. I’m a little fed up with hiding. 

For tonight. I’m going to get myself a bite to eat. Watch whatever the kiddos turn the channel to. Squeeze in some quick yoga and dream or maybe I should call it envision, my next move. 

C. L Cunningham 

Wishing you a great night💋🌞

Namaste 

  
📸https://goo.gl/images/nypBpA

Saturday morning 

10:42 am

Woke around 6ish (on a Saturday… hell no) and took my azz back to sleep…💤

Woke up for round two.

My son knocked on the door asked a question and dipped out.

I got on Twitter to tweet some scifi writing. 

I  love the little writing challenges that many have set up. It makes me evolve in my writing. 

I did some miscellaneous trolling and a thought crossed my mind.

“Damn, I would love to watch some Sat morning cartoons.”

📸www.giphy.com
I remember the carefreeness (i don’t think this is a real word,but 😜)of jumping up at 5 am just to beat my other siblings to the remote control. Calling first dibs on what we got to watch.

The feeling of being excited and happy.

 Having something to look forward to after a tough week of school.

Today I’m going to let that nostalgia be a guide to holding on to a gentle happiness. A warmth of emotions and a positive reminder to loving the simple things in life.

C.L Cunningham 

Happy Saturday y’all 🌻

The shit I want 

From a man is free. I’ve asked for phone calls or text. If you already pay your phone bill then I added you no extra cost. 

I’ve asked for pictures. Assuming you have a phone from the last three years…that once again is no added cost.

I asked for help and me being me I probably need your expertise or your strength. I always pay what I owe so it’s not money. The shit I need would probably takes a phone call to the right person…literally. 

And if I did ask for money…well we’re probably fuckin and in that case it’s  my tart ass husband. Because I haven’t fucked anyone but him since 2005 .

And when he’s not off living with girlfriends and having possible five year Olds he’s in my bed or in my face claiming he loves me. Either way. …that shit cost…it cost me. It cost my kids. It cost my family name and dignity. 

In which there would never be enough money. And I’d never want him to repay. Because as much as he’s hurt me. He’s saved my ass and helped me with the stuff nobody else has seen. 

In the end what I really want is somebody who’s totally my someone. 

I guess what I want isn’t free…Damn 

And there it is….

C. L Cunningham 

Wishing u love in life ✨

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑