The Summer of 2018
By C L Cunningham
Methodically the summer breeze sets my mindset at ease as I lay in this chair. Legs up and messy pineapple puff I type away with thoughts of you.
I don’t know what you’re doing right now or even if you’re alone. Yet all I want to do is be next to you.
Light touches and a warm embrace. If life is a race into those arms I’m in first place as I reach for your love to pull me towards you.
My dinner date for two as hours turn into weeks and weeks into months as I wait for the universe to bring you to me or me to you.
Some would call me foolish for hoping but hoping is better than dreaming so why shouldn’t I love you at my best?
I’ve seen you search for me even when you didn’t know what you were searching for and still our hearts found one another.
We are beyond magic.
We are infinite and that’s all we’ll ever need.
Got to go out and see my city again. Went shopping with my pops and seen some of the new buildings and businesses around the area. Then I went with my ex husband (the first one) and got to see friends and family.
The children have gotten older and the adults have gotten elderly. Strange.
Time is definitely a theft in the night. The weirdest thing for me is the size of everything. It used to feel bigger. Now it feels smaller than it did the first time that I left.
I’m trying to figure out if there’s more to become here. Or if I want to become more here. I’m alone in the sense of having no one to love. No man to love should be what I mean. No man to spoil with kisses. No man to share new experiences with. My ex husband (the second one) has made the journey back home too. We’re back staying in different places. It’s exciting to think that I’m living the single life. But that also comes with having learning curves and potentially having to become more extroverted. Meh.
The past tends to catch up with me and remind me of the tart person I used to be. Pulls me into wanting to go back. I now know to avoid people who rub me the wrong way. Plus my time should be spent enjoying friends. The kind of friends that you haven’t seen or talked to in years and you go right back together like you were never split apart.
C. L Cunningham
Reminiscing and finding my way around 🍁🍁
Photos courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/255438610085399958/
When I hear my thoughts on replay in my mind. I think did I do that right? Did I express that right? Did I interprete that correctly? Instantly. I search for answers.
There’s time when I laugh a little too laugh inside. Where I’m a little too naughty with the things that I want or need. A little too angry. A little too sarcastic. All around too much. F*ck it. So. They’re my thoughts. Who cares but me!
To my surprise I realize that there’s more too it than that.
After I ponder things and breakdown my real reaction to a situation. Life becomes clearer. My map of Kandee’s ultimate journeys takes my mental navigation and away I go. To find my namaste. My gentle cosciousness.
Yes there’s days were I take no mess.
Yes there’s days when the stress of it makes me retreat into my inner shell 🐚 .
Fade away to multiverses bigger than my own.
It feels good to place my life into universal hands and learn along the way. I’m not always right. I’m not always wrong. Sometimes I’m wrong and it ends right. Sometimes I’m right and it ends wrong. That’s life as it was meant to be lived.
Enjoying the night
Sending you all peace and serenity ✨💨
Photos shared through fair sharing https://www.pinterest.com/pin/261771797069638828/
Having the ability to switch from intellectual hogwash to an emotional mud fight in a split second is no easy feat. What’s even more amazing is that everyone does it. Growing up I was taught that certain traits are feminine or masculine.
I’m beginning to see that most of those gender rules are wrong.
Everyone hurts. Everyone cries. Everyone has emotions. Everyone has intellect. One gender isn’t better than the other. Centuries of wasted propaganda. Keeping the divide alive between the sexes. Keeping the confused in a state of confusion. Branding the lies with posters and media coverage.
Looking through a telescope of information for guidance. Searching for answers for the future. When I am the person who decides what my future is. I keep reaching out but maybe I should just keep looking upwards.
My daily heroes are regular people. The family that helps the community. The man who opened the door me. The teenager who carried bags for me. The unique way of being a blessing when there’s nothing to give. Reaching inside and sharing a piece of oneself. These things are priceless.
I’m acknowledging that I could not survive alone in California.
My decision to come here wasn’t planned out correctly.
It’s been a hard pill to swallow.
Thankful is an understatement when it comes together with my gratitude for all the things that have helped us succeed here.
I plan to explore more. Complain less and put my best foot forward.
Hoping for days filled with adventure this winter season
Happy days are all around. Here ye here ye. The fun has begun… meh
Yesterday and today we have had two birthdays in the house whoop whoop. We still have another to go. Sounds super exciting and it is. A little sweet affection to sprinkle around.
Nights like tonight are cool memories in the current time frame of life.
Hearts are filled with party favors. Helium balloons just waiting to fly away into a truly happy place.
Sending you love n light🎉🎭🦋
Late night thoughts and a vision of a new way or new day so to speak.
My mind is usually full of new concepts and world advice.
Seeing things from different angles. I often think of change or the wasted opportunities for change.
In a planet where everything is designed to coexist amongst each other. There seems to be the need to rule or capture things that don’t need to be caught.
Simply put, leave life to be lived. Help where you can. Be a good steward and stop trying to be in command.
Obviously this is just my opinions.
I dream of a life more beautiful. I believe the governed should ultimately govern themselves. But in a world gone mad is that really a possibility?
Are we so unpredictable that knowledge of our every move is needed. Should mankind be feared? Should there be fear? Was that taught to us to control or did we create it?
It’s 2:15 a.m and I’m up with my over active mind. Searching timelines for inspiration. Boredom often keeps me busy. Seems like an oxymoron…
The need not to waste time is a waste in itself.
Beautiful Saturday morning. Earlier than I expected to be up. Ready to be on the road. But not entirely. I thought of a different outcome. A different paradox. Thankfully I can always create a pretty picture out of anything I receive.
When I’m grateful for the now. The future seems brighter.
C. L Cunningham
Up early on a Saturday
Dawn or what some call daybreak is beginning…
My soul has elevated and my choice has remained the same.
Shape shifted and lifted from below the light that shines still shines for you.
Wrong or right…it is what it is.
Hopefully the blessings from above will carry me through.
C. L Cunningham
It’s a new day 💛 happy Sunday