Tag Archives: strength

In clear view 

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Run for your life….
Right, 

When life pushes you past your limits.

Makes you chase a vision and not know whether you’re going to fall or not.

Makes you run after…

The dream or fantasy or whatever.

It’s yours and now you want it.

The universe says that you can have it.

But you’ve got to go get it.

Live,

So you can see it when it happens….

Wishing you love and light on this mixed up Monday 
Xoxo Kandee

Photo courtesy of: unknown

This little light inside 

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Read through the different ways to succeed in writing. From promoting to socializing. From telling your friends and family to support you to get out and sell the books from the trunk of your car. I probably would if I had one. 

I remember walking the streets of California passing out flyers to this blog. I made some rather cheap looking promotional pages affordable enough to pass around. 

It felt good to do busy work. It feels good to feel like I’m doing something right. Unfortunately for there isn’t a lot of times that I feel like I’m going the right way. From marriages to parenting I’ve gotten it wrong. From job to job I’ve floated by enough to eat. I feel like I’m connected everywhere yet I fit nowhere. 

  
Writing is all that I’ve got. 

A window into my soul and a piece of gratitude for being able to keep expressing the pain. Yet I find thankfulness in the day. Always. At least I’m here. I don’t always want to be. Times like this morning where I’d rather fade to black like Amy Whinehouse. Take a drink too many. Swallow a pill more than I’m supposed to. Scream out into the darkness of the night” Lord take me now!”

  
Maybe things will fall in place. Maybe my little will mean a lot. Maybe one man will love me enough, and not to need anyone else to wet his dick for a night. Destroy all the love that was built and actually have the trust that all say that they want. Even they are usually the first to go out and do something untrustworthy.

There’s days I feel unworthy of breathing. I wonder why I continue to wake up in place that I don’t understand. Maybe the divine has a plan for me,because I’m so tired of trying to figure out one. I’d like to see a clearer picture of where to go, but the roads are all filled with fog and the paths are fuzzy at best. This world is a test and I feel like I’m failing more times than I’m passing. My grade is a D++.

Just enough to make it another day and fight. To spread light. To find good insight instead of evil egos.

Yes, I’m grateful for the creative ability to write. It’s opened doors I never expected to enter. Taking me to journeys I never planned on going. Gotten me through tough times and today let’s me tell you the story of my aching heart.

  
The battle of live to fight another day is daily.

One wrong thought on the wrong day. At the wrong hour and it could certainly cost me my REAL life.  

This time is precious perceptions of how to keep going when the weight of my inner galaxies build up all the negative energies being purposely pushed at me. Feeling like the mountain that I can’t climb because I have to come from under the rock first.

  
I’m just grateful that I have enough strength to try again.

I’m thankful I have been gifted the mindset to trust again. 

I have enough forgiveness to forgive again and again, because I believe second chances sometimes need to be third or fourth when you have absolutely no idea what your doing. 

I have gratitude for the blessing of writing. It is not just my  gift it is my birthright. 

Last day of grateful January and it didn’t come easy. I didn’t lazily wake up and get another day. I had to fight my thoughts to be here and it took me to breakdown to get up.

  
C.L Cunningham 

It’s Tuesday and we made it.
Photos courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/456200637237145233/

Artist Jeffrey Smith



Grateful little stories 

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Early morning and time again for a subtle change. Winter storms and days enjoying cold fronts are becoming my new normal here in Nebraska.

    
A vast difference from the heat of the West coast. 

I’m thinking of all the stories that have touched my life. The stories that have given me insight and inspiration. Stories that made me think and pushed me in one way or another. 

One story stands out in my mind today. 

It’s the story of the princess and the pea. In that story the princess was lost and seeking shelter. That while she was sleeping if she could feel a pea under her mattress. She would wake up bruised and actually be considered a real princess. It’s been told all over the world. Changed into new versions and made into parodies.  

  
The reason that I’m so grateful for this story is that as a young girl I would express my sensitivity to someone and they would just blow me off. I’ve always been very sensitive both physically and mentally. I bruise easily. This story allowed me to speak my truth. I thought if that girl could feel a pea underneath a bunch of mattresses and actually be telling the truth then I could speak up when something was hurting me. I still refer to the story to this day. If I’m uncomfortable sleeping I just say ” well I could literally feel a pea under there if you put it. ”

  
The amazing thing is as an adult I finally realized that I am what is called an empathetic person who is actually hyper sensitive. Go figure. 

Stories have a way with helping find out my strengths and weaknesses. I’m grateful for the story tellers and writers who have helped me get in touch with who I am. Unapologetically so.

Day 22 of grateful January and the question is what story are you grateful for? Feel free to chime in. I love all the comments that I receive. 
C. L Cunningham 

Happy Monday 

Photos courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/410109109801366777/

Story information can be found on https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Christian_Andersen

Woo hoo 

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I did it! 

I broke free. Call me divergent.  Call me crazy. Call me stupid. As long as you call me strong we’re all good. 

  
No more looking for the green light of approval because I don’t need it. I’m thankful for the strength to let go of the things that stifled me. I want real love from real people who actually understand where I am in life and respect it. 

Can I open my heart to you all and express my gratitude for the encouragement to say f**k the norms. I’m Rudolph and I don’t enjoy reindeer games. 

I’m different and different is equally as good. 

Lets get weird y’all. Let’s let life take us to unexplored territory. Let’s pump our fist and take a knee to the madness called success. Let’s color it orange and put scribble marks on it just because we can. 

We are amazing creatures. We have the power to heal our minds. To heal our bodies and to protect our right to say hell no we won’t go and you can’t make me put up with it. When there’s nothing to dangle in front of your face there’s also nothing stopping you from being yourself. Nothing stops you from owning your own life. They can’t buy your soul. I paid my the price to be free and it feels good!

A job that feeds your wants keeps you wanting more. A job that covers your needs keeps you needing something. But baby……. a job that covers your spirit… oh honey!!! It takes care of you time and time again. The benefits out weighs the problems. You’re healthier because you feel good from the inside out. 

I started living my best life today. When I look back at my journey I can actually be proud of myself. I can stand up and smell the roses. I’m not weeping anymore and Joy really does come in the morning. 

It’s a wonderful Wednesday. I pray that it brings us smiles and blessings. That it brings good food and great feelings. That it hands out the will to live the best life that is imaginable from every point of view. 
C. L Cunningham 

I’m happy y’all 

Sending you love,light, and hopefully a peace of mind 🌞✨✨✨

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Broken wing

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I’ve always dreamt of flying high. My visions had height in them. Goals to reach and hearts to touch. 

I just wanted someone to love me. You know the movie kind of love. I thought it was possible I guess it still is. 

  
The world looks cloudy today. The sun hasn’t even come up and it’s darkness all around. I asked one too many questions. I guess that’s reason enough to hurt me. Shame me. Show everyone just how tough it is  to never bow down. 

They tell you to be strong and laugh at your strength when they take everything you have left in your heart. I’ve been beat before so I know how to take a hit.

My journey is leading me to travel and I guess that’s what I’ll do. I don’t know where tomorrow leads. I’m tired of trying to figure it out. Maybe it’s time to run as fast as can anywhere there’s smiling faces. 

Can I be real. I feel embarrassed. I can’t really explain why. For a girl who loves her privacy it’s a bit much to be put on display in a way that’s contrary to everything I know. 

Ringingly brothers has come to town and I’m the clown with the popped balloons and the sideways halo. The angels with broken wings forget how to soar. I don’t want to be one of those. I don’t know what I want to be. I keep shedding tears like I shed my persona… daily.

  
The world still turns and I’m still alone but I’m alive so that’s gotta count for something. 

Three special people have birthdays this week. So happy birthday to them. I’ll have a drink to that later. 

Sorrow rears its head for anyone who has the time for it. I’m outta time for that. 

  
I’ll find my joy. I always do. Even fighters lose fights. I’m not beneath losing. I’m just too strong to be counted out. 
C. L Cunningham 

Flying with a broken wing is still flying as long as I keep my feet off the ground. 🌞

Wishing you all peace and blessings 

Photo courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/420875527667605890/

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Designer lifestyle 

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Deep meditation. Listening to music that calms the mind, body and spirit. Songs that bring me mental cleansing. Staying quiet in the mind brings fuel to survival.

Everyday is another lesson. School is in session and I’m learning more than I can fully understand at this point. The way my life changes is unnerving at best. At times I think why bother? No one will miss the things that I’ve always brought to the table. No one will notice when the keys no longer stroke and I no longer have anything else to say.

  
So I say the things that come to mind anyway. Without an audience there’s no reason to be impressive. To try harder. I can be myself and never worry about acceptance. The power that comes with always being enough is transforming. Empowering souls. To ignore anything that doesn’t belong in your story is taking back your energy and focusing it somewhere that truly fulfills your soul.

I design my destiny. I hand picked my way to be. 

I decided that I’m going to have a wonderful life. I decided who I expose myself to everyday. I’m thankful that my story includes a higher understanding of the universe around me. I seek truth and it continues to set me free. Why lie about who I am to please anyone other than myself? No one is in this room with me. When I wake up and go to sleep nothing else is included in my journey to tomorrow. I’m particularly puzzled by the need to pretend. I’m too damn tired of pretending.

If I walk this time of my life with nothing but my truth then I’m in control of my thoughts. I never wanted anything to interfere with my wants. To change my mind. I absolutely hate finding out information that makes me question a persons character. Or things that make me question authority. Things that make me question God. 

I would much rather walk into neverland get biscuits with the mad hatter and blow smoke at the circle of life. 

  
Sounds fun huh? But is it fulfilling?

Today I will have a better day than yesterday. 

I will decide to let go of anything that doesn’t make me smile. I will experience the strength it takes to decide if I love myself enough to be happy. Putting happiness in society hands will leave me battered,broken and discouraged. I’m done with that. 

I’m beautiful. I’m wiser. I’m grateful that I am here. I’m incredibly important to those who love me. Those who really have my best interest at heart. I’m a piece of their story. I belong. They are a piece of my story therefore they belong to me also. 

Living can be amazing. I’m ready to be surrounded by love and the only way to do so is to be love myself.

C.L Cunningham 

Tell someone that you love them today but first start with yourself 💙

Love n light

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Static noise

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Music sometimes cleanses my static noise. Blows the dust off the cobwebs and renews my surroundings. Endless lullabies of voices I don’t know but share their visions.

  
Their version of their lives.
I think of time that needs to pass by. 

Tic tic tic away the minutes that I can’t spend my way. 

Doesn’t matter as long as my headphones play tunes of love.

Soft vibez of what’s to be imagined.

Of what’s next. Of what’s after.

  
I’m were life has put me. 

Where I put myself. 

Where you are.

C. L Cunningham 

Photos curtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/451063718913880100/

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