Tag Archives: Dark

This little light inside 

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Read through the different ways to succeed in writing. From promoting to socializing. From telling your friends and family to support you to get out and sell the books from the trunk of your car. I probably would if I had one. 

I remember walking the streets of California passing out flyers to this blog. I made some rather cheap looking promotional pages affordable enough to pass around. 

It felt good to do busy work. It feels good to feel like I’m doing something right. Unfortunately for there isn’t a lot of times that I feel like I’m going the right way. From marriages to parenting I’ve gotten it wrong. From job to job I’ve floated by enough to eat. I feel like I’m connected everywhere yet I fit nowhere. 

  
Writing is all that I’ve got. 

A window into my soul and a piece of gratitude for being able to keep expressing the pain. Yet I find thankfulness in the day. Always. At least I’m here. I don’t always want to be. Times like this morning where I’d rather fade to black like Amy Whinehouse. Take a drink too many. Swallow a pill more than I’m supposed to. Scream out into the darkness of the night” Lord take me now!”

  
Maybe things will fall in place. Maybe my little will mean a lot. Maybe one man will love me enough, and not to need anyone else to wet his dick for a night. Destroy all the love that was built and actually have the trust that all say that they want. Even they are usually the first to go out and do something untrustworthy.

There’s days I feel unworthy of breathing. I wonder why I continue to wake up in place that I don’t understand. Maybe the divine has a plan for me,because I’m so tired of trying to figure out one. I’d like to see a clearer picture of where to go, but the roads are all filled with fog and the paths are fuzzy at best. This world is a test and I feel like I’m failing more times than I’m passing. My grade is a D++.

Just enough to make it another day and fight. To spread light. To find good insight instead of evil egos.

Yes, I’m grateful for the creative ability to write. It’s opened doors I never expected to enter. Taking me to journeys I never planned on going. Gotten me through tough times and today let’s me tell you the story of my aching heart.

  
The battle of live to fight another day is daily.

One wrong thought on the wrong day. At the wrong hour and it could certainly cost me my REAL life.  

This time is precious perceptions of how to keep going when the weight of my inner galaxies build up all the negative energies being purposely pushed at me. Feeling like the mountain that I can’t climb because I have to come from under the rock first.

  
I’m just grateful that I have enough strength to try again.

I’m thankful I have been gifted the mindset to trust again. 

I have enough forgiveness to forgive again and again, because I believe second chances sometimes need to be third or fourth when you have absolutely no idea what your doing. 

I have gratitude for the blessing of writing. It is not just my  gift it is my birthright. 

Last day of grateful January and it didn’t come easy. I didn’t lazily wake up and get another day. I had to fight my thoughts to be here and it took me to breakdown to get up.

  
C.L Cunningham 

It’s Tuesday and we made it.
Photos courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/456200637237145233/

Artist Jeffrey Smith



Thrown away

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Crumpled paper and incomplete thoughts.

Looking for all the love that was lost .

Forgiving leads to forgetting the bad times as well as the good.

Trying again in a different direction may just be the thing that she needs.

Left behind for the last time, it’s time to search for more.

Hell anything has to be better than lying in a puddle of her own blood smeared on the dance hall floor.

  

C.L Cunningham 

Poet

Photo courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/728386939705796360/

Fair shared 

Art Army 

Just for today

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1 am-ish. I’m sitting here listening to a mediating music channel on pandora. It’s relaxing me as I write. My son is bobbing his head to his YouTube with his headphones on and the television is playing simultaneously in the background. Good enough of a night to feel the calm that is around me. 

Blessed in the spirit in this moment. Crazy are the days when thoughts override your mind. Little pieces of negative news or thoughts hell even reasons tend to take over. Don’t let them, I say to myself as a reminder. 

Yesterday almost got the best of me off it’s keister. Almost knocked me off my feet on accident of someone else’s thoughts. 

Thankful that I was able to regain consciousness. Thankful for the moments with my family that give me peace and a clear mind. Thankful for friends that check up on me for unselfish reasons. 

Funny how something other than yourself can mean the world to you. Something so real that you’d risk parts of your vision for it. Crazy how life and love intertwine so effortlessly but so chaotically it can drive one insane. Don’t let it , I say to myself as a reminder. 

  
Live today for today because it really does matter who you are and how you came to be that way. Every step,every journey, every reason matters.

You matter. I matter. 

C. L Cunningham 

Living today for today because that’s all I can do.

Wishing you Peace and blessings 

Namaste 🌸🌞✨

Photo courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/ASPjATB847AMYk_ChowEkQhSHIlCK-XzD8WKdbV3RWm8FKJtyBcdQPU/
Art Army 

Twenty-four hours

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“If everything is dipped in gold then baby it never growwwww”…Jhene’ is once again speaking to my soulful endeavors.

Days turn to weeks and life moves on.

Minutes on the clock tower chime in through accurate occurrences.

24 hours in a day. Just 24. 

Just enough.

To be better, more efficient, top of the line. 

What line?

The line to heavenly places no doubt…..sure. 

I’ll see you there then, hell it’s a date with destiny then…..😉

                                                      ✨

Let today be magical and kiss 💋the sky with your thoughts.

  

C. L Cunningham 

Wishing you all a safe All Hallows’ Eve 🎃
Photos courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/385198574361664237/

https://www.etsy.com/listing/275528850/morning?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share

Artist of painting Vashti Harrison

Art Army 

What day is it? 

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Rised and shined to an early morning. Made the decision to take one bus stop over another. Meet a young lady. Seemed like an decent person. The day turned out a big strange from that moment on.

  
  
 
Not quite sure if the day was meant to go another way. 

What could have been isn’t as important as being thankful for surviving to another Friday.

Today happens to be the 13th of October to boot.

Now even though I don’t know enough superstitions to be superstitious. I  have learned enough about them to respect those who do believe. 

When fear or something that unsettles the spirit moves the mind to realism. It’s best to work out those emotions and to protect yourself. Once your thoughts are positive again you will feel better.

I didn’t let today’s date worry me. I pressed through the day enjoyed the things that I received. Now unless an unexpected stranger appears in the middle of the night. I’m sure that there’s nothing but peaceful things to do with the rest of my night.

C.L Cunningham 

Have a safe Friday y’all 🎃
Photo https://goo.gl/images/TnBxtH

Art Army 

Aside

The concrete jungle is now middle class in a quiet meadow. The picture isn’t so pretty everyday. Stiff bones and aching hearts. Cohabiting and going different directions. 

The real gets a little too real. The mistakes actually look like mistakes down here in this part of consciousness. To be brutally honest life kinda looks the tv show on showtime. 

When days of pit stops and miscommunication are continuously on the horizon and growth needs to have a growth spurt but temporary situations become bumpers cars on Vaseline. Slippery slopes to I don’t know and wtf. 

Spirituality not quite out the door and essentially the only thing keeping you connected to a higher pattern of thought so you don’t get lost in the sauce of staying alive and picking a exit out to nowhereland in a somewhereland near you.

I’m going to finish listening to music. Worry about my list of things to do in a world where my tweets don’t pay the rent and I couldn’t be happier that they could. I love the fact that this is life but a life that’s making me remember there’s still more to grow from. 

C. L Cunningham 

Go through to grow through 

Are you entertained?

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It’s a lazy Sunday.  I washed clothes, checked social media, and watched some Netflix. 

My daughter has been begging me to watch black mirror. So I finally gave in and all I have to say is bravo. 

It’s an eye opening show for certain. 

There’s things in this world that are going on right in front of the naked eye.

We are seeing with our eyes and not seeing with our minds. We are not putting two and two together. 

It’s like walking into a glass door that was right in front of you but you didn’t notice it. 

As information is put out for us we are disbelieving and even cocky with laughter. 

When will we be ready to grow in our lives and hearts to understand that everyone is able to be their best self. 

Don’t let the things you seen weigh you down. 

Let’s pick up the positive energy. Show strength in coming together with your communities. With each other everyday.

We are absolutely ready for positive change. But we must first be the positive change. 

C. L Cunningham 

Sending you all love and light 💖