It’s early morning and I’ve been up thinking 💭.
About how my life turned out to be the way it is now.
I just got engaged to my ex husband. It literally sounds weird to say that.
No-one else has been supportive of that decision but the children. Let me sit in that statement.
The ones who were in the home with us are the ones who believe that we can build a better foundation for the future.
They seen the struggle the arguments and the shatter of the marriage. Yet in still our support is coming from the place of hope.
I’m not sorry for trying things that others have said no to. I’m just trying to live with all of the choices I’ve made in the past. Taking them to the realists truths that I can find and hopefully moving forward in peace.
My punishment is my own self esteem being broken into pieces every time I chase something that makes me feel pain, sadness and anger.
I beat myself up after the haze has cleared. When no one is around I analyze my actions over and over again.
This time I want to look back and say I did exactly what I needed to do to be able to wake up in the morning with a positive start and a smile on my face.
– C L Cunningham
Happy Thursday everyone may it bring you happiness, love, and abundance.
The Summer of 2018
By C L Cunningham
Methodically the summer breeze sets my mindset at ease as I lay in this chair. Legs up and messy pineapple puff I type away with thoughts of you.
I don’t know what you’re doing right now or even if you’re alone. Yet all I want to do is be next to you.
Light touches and a warm embrace. If life is a race into those arms I’m in first place as I reach for your love to pull me towards you.
My dinner date for two as hours turn into weeks and weeks into months as I wait for the universe to bring you to me or me to you.
Some would call me foolish for hoping but hoping is better than dreaming so why shouldn’t I love you at my best?
I’ve seen you search for me even when you didn’t know what you were searching for and still our hearts found one another.
We are beyond magic.
We are infinite and that’s all we’ll ever need.
Make the pain stop
Give me what I want.
Days when I can’t help but be extra because what I feel is so strong that I refuse to let it go.
And I don’t care.
And it’s unfair.
But so are you.
This could be through. This could be done.
Or we could feel like two kids. In love.
Constantly on the run.
Who needs a perfect love story when one with kinks and dents can become more cherished because of the time invested.
Who needs to be closer to you than me?
I wish I was…. yours. I wish you were mine.
But your not and we’re not.
It’s a long night. On a lonely day.
And maybe it’s better this way.
But it doesn’t feel like it.
C. L Cunningham
Photos courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/839921399225629109/
Color scheme of royalty with a blue couch. Hint of rose and lavender in the air.
Whenever I imagine a beautiful day I picture a place where I could be to create. Let my inner child escape from the demands of the world and relax.
To return to my truth and my light.
Just like that multi dimensional piece of art hanging in the showroom of a gallery.
The piece that sales for way too much only to be forgotten on an attic floor.
It’s greatness forever stored away. Instead of being on display it is now tucked up pleasantly…..🦋
Feeling the bluest of blues isn’t easy.
This is the season for depression so it’s very important to have a good support system. Sometimes opening up can be a struggle. Being able to reach out can become difficult.
I’m thankful that I’ve found ways to creatively express how I feel.
I still have to work on noticing my pitfalls and seeing when I am putting my happiness in someone else’s hands.
Chasing away the blues
I don’t like drama.
I’m dramatic enough for the world that I need to occupy my time with anything but that.
I want to write. Everyday I think about the things I could write about. Usually open and available for new concepts I would just give my honest opinion and leave the rest to discussion . Giving the world keys to fill me up with understanding of all points of view.
The lines of the free to be is getting blinded by headlines.
But is it wrong to worry about who has our best interest at heart?
I decide to be a hermit at times. To close myself off from anything that doesn’t fuel my chakras and burns up my physical energy.
Be cautious of too much drama. It’s okay to zone out and relax. To release the pressure put on you by you. And to let go of pressure put on you by others. And please don’t forget that it’s cozy blanket and hot cocoa weather. Flannel pjs and snuggling with a good book or a great love. ♥️💜
Enjoy your night and may your witching hour be beautiful 🌙🌻