We meet again December

Last December I was in waiting.

Waiting for love to arrive. Waiting for the next big thing in my life.

Waiting for people to notice me and invite me in.

This December is different.

I’m reaching out. I’m moving forward and I’m becoming more and more focused.

I want to manifest a beautiful life that I can enjoy as I be of service.

I’m opening up to receive the beauty that here everyday.

I’m grateful for the journey.

Happy Monday everyone

May it be the beginning of the rest of your life.

Xoxo Kandee

📷instagram @harminojogastudios

This time of day

“When neither is attended,and I think the nightingale if she should sing by day when every goose is cackling-Amelia Bassano aka William Shakespeare… (The merchant of Venice-Act V, Sc.1

I stumbled upon a cup of tea in the mournings light and found her name in the stars amongst the God’s of then when love was written with a pen covered by blood ink -C L Cunningham/ Amelia Bassano

Art Army

Just another day 

Day before Valentine’s Day and I feel alone. Let me clarify that I do have a Valentine. So I will be spending at least part of the day with someone that I love and care about, but not the way I want to. Not doing the things I would like to do not having the fun I would like to have. Not feeling the type of way I would expect to feel. 

It’s just another Valentine’s Day that goes every way but my way…
C L Cunningham 

Silence 

Sitting at home waiting on him. I’m trying to call and I get no answer and no call back. Finding myself crying slow tears because I’m feeling rejected and confused. Does he even like me does he even care? Then morning comes and he’s apologizing and affectionate…What just happened? I mean I’m his wife why would he do this? His silence is my rejection. 
Excited because this could be the one. I’m taking a chance talking to him. I mean I’m still married and even though he’s cheating it doesn’t mean I should…right? But he’s 10years younger. Tall and sexy. We text and sext almost everyday. He makes me feel naughty,like I’m pretty, like I’m smart. But there’s times when he doesn’t answer for over 24hrs. But he’s begging me to leave him and come to him. He doesn’t have what we have, he isn’t ready like I’m ready. But I’m willing and now I’m confused. So I back up and stop replying on purpose to remind him of what’s at stake but I’m feeling his silence and it starts to feel like rejection. 
I like him. I want him. I need him. He’s everything that I’m not but everything that I am. I left my marriage. Hell I left my state. I’m beyond infatuated….I’m lost. Wrapped up in his essence. But sometimes I feel the connection and sometimes I don’t. Feeling lost in the sauce. Tired of shooting my shot. I hear that same silence and it always feels like rejection.
C L Cunningham 

This sucks 

I’ve been gone a little over a month. I’m the one that got tired of my husband cheating and I packed up. Well the other day my husband posted a picture of him and the woman he was sleeping with saying she’s his lady. I’m not completely upset by it. I mean I left him…right. 

So here’s my problem. We aren’t divorced. I’m crushing on someone myself but I don’t know if it’s appropriate to get into anything. Mind you that my husband still commenting on my social media and contacts me telling me how much he misses me. He refuses to talk finances, he refuses to talk about the divorce and he definitely says he will kill anyone who touches me. 

Now how am I supposed to move on with my life? It’s like he’s trying to hold my heart hostage while he’s in a full new relationship. I don’t understand what kind of bullshit he’s trying to pull. I can’t even have a conversation with him because he’s being ridiculously selfish. 

I don’t want this to get uglier than its already been. I’ve accepted the fact that I obviously wasn’t enough for him. I’m evaluating myself and the things I could have done to add to the ending of our marriage. I’m ready to move on too. And I feel like I can’t. I’m technically married I feel like I’m wrong for wanting someone to hold me and be with me but I’m lonely. I can’t wrap my head around the ideal of casual sex. I’m in a catch 22. 

Why should I wait if he isn’t?

This sucks!
C L Cunningham 

Where the wind takes me 

As I continue on my journey of growing and changing I have encountered so many strange things. My emotions are ever changing and I’m learning to let things just be what they are. I’m at a place where I want to throw the plans I thought I had for my life out the window. I’m at a place where I want to just see how my life evolves and I pray that it’s more wonderful than I could ever imagine. Wishing you all love and happiness 🌞

C L Cunningham 

The sunlight 

  

A lot of people see God in different ways. When I look at something like this I see God. So simple but so amazingly beautiful. On this day of remembrance just enjoy life. Your alive today and your molecules are more amazing than this picture…isn’t that enough to rejoice? 
Happy Easter 

C L Cunningham 

Can I

I wanna be the chick on your side. The woman that is willing to walk behind you. Having your back in life. I’m the kind of girl who takes your pain and turns it into memories of life forgotten. And make love to your soulful spiritual journey. I wanna be amazement to your senses. Heighten your heart and open it for a different kind of love. Where’s there’s room for me and all of our seeds in a field of grasshoppers. I wanna be that taste on your lips when loneliness sets in on the road. The taste that reminds you of faithfulness and trust. Reminds you that there’s nothing and no one that can come between us. Because I want you in the worst way everyday. I think about you like I think about myself…..constantly. I wanna be the woman ,the girl ,the chick ,the friend,the wife and more importantly the forever.   
C L Cunningham

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