Had my headphones on listening to the soft love music of that good ol rhythm and blues.
Jaheim was telling me that I can have anything I want. I wish. A wish of hope. A focused wish. Because last thing I need to do is put up some lax a daisy ass wish into the atmosphere. Open up my eyes tomorrow and be surprised ass ever when I got what I wanted in a way that I least expected it.
Nevertheless I do it anyway. Wish I mean. I still put that wish into the air. Like when I exhale a puff of smoke. Let that vapor pour out of my spiritual chest cavity and moan out the thoughts of him.
Anyway the day is becoming anew again. Moments of clarity mixed in with gratitude for the days past. So thankful to be home. Home in spirit that is. Not quite home in reality. It’s on it’s way. Each day I push forward to obtain it.
Not sad. Finally.
Missing the feeling or maybe the ….. I don’t know for sure what to call it. Just missing in action for now. Acting like it doesn’t bother me to miss. It does. Bother me.
Not sure. If it turns out alright. Hmm
The sound of a wee tot in my ear lets me know that my reality is away from him. Away from them. Alone by myself without a mate. Not alone in this house but the alone from a cuddling arm. Alone from a shoulder to cry on.
Having someone to rely on must be nice.
Unfortunately I haven’t had the full pleasure of knowing since my life has brought me men of circumstance. I’ve always been able to get a piece of love. I’m actually looking for a whole cake instead of a slice though. Maybe I should have told the universe that the first go round. I’m certain that I didn’t know what to ask for.
I now ask the divine for the one that I gave my heart to to return it back to me. I’ll return the piece of his that I took and let life go from there.
I have trust it will be alright. For tonight that has to be enough.
Up late 🌙🎶