Searched but didn’t find what I was looking for. Instead I stumbled upon something I didn’t know was out there….

In a world of hidden people. Hidden agendas. Hidden desires. 

I find myself an outcast. When faced with the truth of oneself I’m often inclined to changes. I’m willing to redo or do over situations until I’ve found the perfect outcome.

Today I woke up to another day of a hotel stay. Things with the ex didn’t work out as planned and now I’m in a bathroom typing this blog entry. 

Trying to gather up the things we’ve brought and hopefully get them all on a train to some friends. We’re going to regroup there and try again to find a place to call home.

Trip California has more plot twist than happy memories. I’ll take this too with a grain of salt. My true hope for this month was to have a place to comfortably bake cookies and put up fall decorations. Looks like that isn’t in the stars just yet. 

I’d get upset and start to ball crying but why and for what.?  Tough times is happening all around. It’s absolutely ok for me to feel what I feel. Nobody should bottle up their feelings. I’m just not in the mood for a pity party today…. maybe tomorrow though 😂.

I reserve the right to hide behind my smile. So many times I’ve felt the need to explain why I do what I do. I’m at the point where I’m tired of explaining. 

I’m at the point where I want to do whatever comes naturally. I’m a little fed up with hiding. 

For tonight. I’m going to get myself a bite to eat. Watch whatever the kiddos turn the channel to. Squeeze in some quick yoga and dream or maybe I should call it envision, my next move. 

C. L Cunningham 

Wishing you a great night💋🌞



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