Oh I how wish my days were filled with laughter and sunshine. Purple sky’s and cotton candy blues. Where fairytales come true and ultimate love was within my reach…

News flash… ”tis ain’t that.
I’m a older woman getting out of a marriage. My life feels like it’s starting over. I have baggage on my shoulders and two teenagers growing into adulthood. I have an adult child learning that the world is a cold one out here but,at least we all got each other’s back. And she’s about to achieve an career. She’s making it  happen younger than I did so I’m a proud Mom right now.

Learning about myself and trying to stand on my own two feet through failed attempts to fall in love has been a painful experience. I want to believe in true love. I want to be able to trust that someone will have my heart in mind when they’re telling me that they are all the man that I’ll ever need. I want that one to be the only one for me.
But before I can believe in that I need to believe in me. And my inner self esteem has to be on solid ground.

Trying to make it in a tough economy is even more painful than I imagined. But I’m stronger than I thought and I’m ready to continue to prove that to myself.

I attempted to be vegan. It’s a lot harder than it seems. I’m still going to incorporate vegan meals into my diet and give myself a full vegan week every month. I’ll probably try to become totally vegan but, this time I won’t just jump into it.

I’m becoming more focused on my mind and my reality coming together so I can achieve some of the things that I hope for. I’m thankful for the good that came out of this part of my journey and I’m beyond ready to see something new.

Through my emotional ups and downs I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m still learning everyday and that everyday I am becoming a better me.

C.L Cunningham

Independently walking my road

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