Silence 

Sitting at home waiting on him. I’m trying to call and I get no answer and no call back. Finding myself crying slow tears because I’m feeling rejected and confused. Does he even like me does he even care? Then morning comes and he’s apologizing and affectionate…What just happened? I mean I’m his wife why would he do this? His silence is my rejection. 
Excited because this could be the one. I’m taking a chance talking to him. I mean I’m still married and even though he’s cheating it doesn’t mean I should…right? But he’s 10years younger. Tall and sexy. We text and sext almost everyday. He makes me feel naughty,like I’m pretty, like I’m smart. But there’s times when he doesn’t answer for over 24hrs. But he’s begging me to leave him and come to him. He doesn’t have what we have, he isn’t ready like I’m ready. But I’m willing and now I’m confused. So I back up and stop replying on purpose to remind him of what’s at stake but I’m feeling his silence and it starts to feel like rejection. 
I like him. I want him. I need him. He’s everything that I’m not but everything that I am. I left my marriage. Hell I left my state. I’m beyond infatuated….I’m lost. Wrapped up in his essence. But sometimes I feel the connection and sometimes I don’t. Feeling lost in the sauce. Tired of shooting my shot. I hear that same silence and it always feels like rejection.
C L Cunningham 

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