Don’t look back

I don’t want the fear of rejection and abandonment to stop me from loving or living again. 12 years is a long time to forget. Right or wrong good or bad it was still my life.I’ve got to learn to forgive myself for any mistakes I may have made. And move on from any mistakes he made. 
I chose to leave. I looked him in the face and told him I would be back and I didn’t come back. But I didn’t completely let go…now I’m trying to let him go. Not just for me but for my kids and for him. We’re so used to using each other for acceptance that we won’t pull away from the safety net of our relationship. 
We were always friends first and right now we can’t be friends. We can’t be anything until,we move on. We failed at staying together and I don’t want to fail at being apart. Sometimes you have to leave…
C L Cunningham 

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