Posted in Blog, deep thoughts, Freshly pressed, late night, life, Love, Music, Poem, Short stories, Uncategorized, Writing

Be thankful 

Today has been wonderful! I’m thankful for that. I been very focused on living in the now. Trying not to romanticize simple interactions. And making sure I don’t make up fantasies in my head and believe them like they’re true. 
I’m learning to love me. And enjoy everything that comes my way. Awaken by my sadness I figured it’s time to make a change. I’m sure everything will work out better than I ever could imagine because now I’m imagining the better things in life. 
Happy thanksgiving from my family to yours!

Love and light 🌞
C L Cunningham 

Posted in Blog, deep thoughts, Freshly pressed, life, Love, Me, Music, Picture, Poem, Poems, Short stories, Uncategorized, Writing

No games

When I decided to change my life I knew it would be a struggle. I left 80% of my income when I left him. Packed up my dreams,my 20% and my kids and headed to another state. I’ve encountered obstacles I hadn’t planned on and faced family and friends who doubt my strength and my passion for whatever is ahead of me. I’ve faced those who are so used to me helping them that when it became time to return the favor they realized they aren’t even close to my caliber of a human being. And that’s okay… we aren’t all the same. I just moved on… kids in tow because they said momma we can make it without them….and we will. ..

I came to find him and show him I’m so for real. I took my steps. I showed up. I did my work. He’s still not doing his. And once again I might have to shrug my shoulders and keep it moving because time waits for no one and I don’t have the luxury of wasting time in the first place. 

I can make it with or without you. 

But I don’t want to. 

I don’t play games. I’ve never been a fan of faking. 

The time is now… I’m here.

Where are you?
C L Cunningham 

Posted in Blog, deep thoughts, Freshly pressed, late night, life, Love, Me, Music, Poem, Poems, Short stories, Uncategorized

It’s all been…

The snapchat filters and Instagram likes. The twitter accounts and the Facebook checks. The feeling I get when I wish the DM notifications and the phone calls were who I wanted them to be. The sadness when it isn’t…you 

Why do you make me wait? And anticipate the inevitable. 

You and I are just different that way. 

I want you unapologetically. 

I’m not afraid to say it. 

Do you want me? 

Do you feel when I want to feel you? 

Do you need me in the darkness when the night gets lonely?

Just me only? 

Because it’s just been you. 

All of it…just for you. 
C L Cunningham 

Posted in Blog, deep thoughts, Freshly pressed, late night, life, Love, Me, Poems, Writing

It’s the beginning of something wonderful 

Tattered t shirt and short shorts. Hair in a wild puff and zero makeup. I’m comfortable in my skin. But uncertain of my feelings. I bare my soul so much that it has become exhausting. The tears I cry have been like prayers I haven’t had the words to speak. 
This is the last days in my comfy bed I scraped to buy. I’m throwing away so many things I don’t know if I can replace. I feel like I’m losing just to feel like I’m winning. But I’m backed into a corner and now I have to fight or take flight. So flight it is. Ten years from now I pray that I’ll look back and say “yes that was the turning point”. I want to be able to show myself that I deserve better. That I’m worth more. The sad truth is that I may not believe that fully myself. 
My identity has been wrapped up in a man for so long I forgot to be me. Or who she even could be. I’m happy that God has made me open my eyes. Forced me to be so uncomfortable that staying is no longer an option. Sometimes you stay in a place you don’t need to be to change your perception of yourself. Somewhere along the way I didn’t think I was worthy. I feel like I thought life was just meant to be tough and you should take whatever good you could get, whenever you could get it. 
I’m so happy I saw the signs this time. I’m so thankful that I’m learning to love myself again. I now cry tears of joy for my new beginning. I’m So Worth the best life has to offer. I can breathe again and I’ll wait to exhale until the time is right. 
C L Cunningham