Start again

So I’ve decided to became a born again virgin. I’ve tried to do the single girl thing and go out and party. I tried the online dating thing. And I even tried to convince myself to just go out and have sex with a random dude. Anything to get my mind off my pending divorce. I never wanted to be alone. And I didn’t want just anybody to be sexual with. I thought I had my one and done. But marriages don’t always go as planned and sometimes the sh** does hit the fan. And now I’m stuck with no one to be with and back on the market. 

Sure I fantasized about being with someone before. But the thought and the action are two different things. I mean I think about eating a whole cake with milk but the odds of me doing it are slim to none. So since I’ve spent over a decade of my life sleeping with one man. And today’s dating scene is crazy. Everybody is so willing to jump in bed with you without any spiritual or emotional regard. And I get it. I used to be like that too. It’s just that I’m not the same girl I was and believe me, I’ve tried to go back. 

But I’m different now. My heart is different and my soul is different. I don’t want to mess up this time. I’ve never had a man be faithful to me and I want one that could show me how that feels. And I don’t want to play around with my body and my self esteem while I wait for him. I want my one done and it actually be the right pick. So if it’s not my soon to be ex getting any I guess I won’t be getting any either. 
-C L Cunningham

Love in my life

The love I give to family and friends is a love where I speak love into and over your life. I wish the best things for you in your life. For all humans in general.
The love I have and want to give to my man. Is a freeing love. He is the answers to prayers literally, because he’s here to help take the pain away. And I’m here for the same reason in his life. To put a smile on his face when he’s down and lift him higher when he’s up. To share my sprit and my soul with him to connect cosmically. That’s the love I want and that I’m looking for. 
I love my friends and family. But they can’t give me the love I need as a woman. They can only give the love they got. And vise verse. So I’m still searching for the love I need and want. And I pray that God and the universe have my man tailor made and coming to find me. 

-C L Cunningham


Nobody wants this pain 
As a country we needed to do better before Obama became president

But we had a glimmer of hope then

But then we started being pushed by the media to fear and to hate

And when we spoke out nobody acted as if they could relate

Going on with their daily lives as if they didn’t have eyes that could see

Now today is a new day of sadness mixed with fear and it’s happening before our eyes 

The end is near

If we’re going to make it through lead with your heart 

And don’t let the media pull this country apart
C L Cunningham

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