Then now and always 

I got married to the man I thought I’d spend forever with. I loved his smile and his scent. I loved the way he looked at me and the way he touched me. I loved how excited he was to be married to me. 
I noticed the change . I noticed that he felt out of place in his new home with his new kids and his new life. I wanted to make it easy on him I tried not to nag to much or push to hard. I opened the door for his children’s mothers to meet me and became the go between for his kids. I wanted a happy family a blended family. I always wanted ten kids and I got blessed with eleven. I wanted to be happy. 
He acted out like a child. Hell he still acts out like a child. But I never wanted him to be anything other than himself. A better version of himself would come with time I thought. It would get better, he would be better because he told me so. 
Time keeps moving along and I’m the one that’s changed. I’m angry and sad. I’m starting to be mean. I’m trying not to let it change me but the damage is done and I’m losing the fight, I’m losing myself, and I’m losing him. 
 I cry every time I think of leaving him. I worked so damn hard to get this. I’ve worked so hard to maintain it. Every time I try to go something keeps pulling me back. I hear his cries and see his pain but it’s not enough he’s not hurt enough. And I don’t want to see it when he does finally feel the pain. Because I don’t ever want to see him hurting even though I know I have to be the one to hurt him. I loved him then I love him now I’ll love him always. 

By C L Cunningham 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

Top 10 Food and Drinks From Around The World

Top 10 recipes, meals, restaurants and amazing kitchen gadgets and kitchenware

Read with Me

March came in that winter like the meekest and mildest of lambs, bringing days that were crisp and golden and tingling, each followed by a frosty pink twilight which gradually lost itself in an elfland of moonshine.---L.M. Montgomery


Not For Profit/For Prophecy

Trish Hopkinson

A selfish poet

Haze Press

Where inner voices come to shine

The Working Writer

Pro Advice For Freelance Writers

The mom Journals

Everything for Moms and beyond.

Life Of LG

Beauty, Lifestyle, & Travel

%d bloggers like this: