We are

If you want me show it. Because I can’t read your mind. Sometimes I’m fragile and I just need to know that I’m wanted too. I think about you almost every minute of everyday. I mean do you know how many minutes that is?!….

But I’m in it. Right or Wrong… I’m in it. And it’s scary ,but so worth it because no matter what happens the feelings that I’m feeling happened… and they’re embedded in my thoughts. You can’t change that you’ve changed me. 

No matter how hard you try not to be soft with me. No matter how many nights you try to smoke thoughts of me away. I’ll forever have a little piece of you like you have a piece of me. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to enjoy it.? To stop pushing each other away and feel what it feels like to give in to each other’s vibrations and connect on a higher level. 

To be fearful but fearless of enjoying what it feels like to be united. 

Don’t you want to? 

Don’t you feel lonely too when I’m not with you? I don’t you need it like I need it? Want it like I want it? Like I want us? Honestly flawed but magnets to each other’s energy and chemistry. 

We’re a formula too good to waste. 

We’re a moment meant to happen. 

C L Cunningham 

This day

Life is ever changing. There’s always someone who wants to be where you are. If a person has never had someone to love your broken relationship is an experience they’d like to see. For a mom who’s lost her pregnancy she wishes she had the chance to hold hers once and some moms well they’re wishing they missed out on the pain of holding on.

You may need a better job because your job isn’t covering the bills while someone else wishes they had a job just to eat. 

Millionaires want billions and people in poverty just want out. We’re all just running around missing blessings and forgetting to stop and love this moment whatever it may be. Because today doesn’t happen tomorrow. And tomorrow may never be seen. Take a minute to love this moment for whatever it may be. It may be your moment of strength or your moment of weakness that you needed to get so low to find your redemption. Whatever it is take a mental snapshot because it won’t happen this wAy again. 

C L Cunningham

A place

Is there a place better than this place? Is there a beautiful place called heaven where everything is great? Because this feels like hell so is there a place better than this? Or are we supposed to find the good in this hell and then that’s our heaven?
C L Cunningham

Late night pet peeve

Why in a world full of dicks do men offer you dick first? You complain about anything and the first thing they offer is dick. “So your having trouble at work huh?” “Well that’s ruff would you like my dick in your mouth?” I mean it’s like they think dick is the answer to our problems. “Hey I heard your man isn’t treating you right.” “I have some dick for you if you want it.” No Sir I don’t want your dumb ass dick. I never said he had any problems with his dick. I said he’s acting like a dick and right now so are you. 
I would like some simple conversation that does not require an exit strategy. Some funny jokes and a refreshing candor. Some ” hey are you alright?” and they really meant it. Then they go on about their business without trying to push their dick on me like an info commercial upgrade. 
Here’s to men that think their dick is the worlds greatest. It probably isn’t the greatest and it definitely is not the answer to my problems. Most likely if I take your offer I’ll have more problems and a sore vagina. Neither of which I needed. 😏
C L Cunningham 

I hate

I hate death. I hate that people have to die; need to die. To teach us a lesson that we as humans aren’t indestructible. But still I hate it. It takes good people even bad people away from their family friends and loved ones without any regard to those it affects most. Leaving you stuck in sorrows path and if you don’t get off it it will take you to deaths door too. I hate death you took my cousin you took my grandmas you took my grandpas you took my unborns. All you do is take and leave us pain. Replace happiness with sadness and after sadness gives us anger. I hate I hate I hate you
C L Cunningham

Really ?

It’s hard to be a mother in today’s world. Just to be a woman because your expected to be beautiful but not too sexy. Classy but not weak willed . Give attitude but not be considered a bitch. Smart but not too smart. A mom but a fun mom. And a wife that handles everything and ask for damn near nothing. Doing all of this without a complaint. I mean who do they think we are?
C L Cunningham 

Then now and always 

I got married to the man I thought I’d spend forever with. I loved his smile and his scent. I loved the way he looked at me and the way he touched me. I loved how excited he was to be married to me. 
I noticed the change . I noticed that he felt out of place in his new home with his new kids and his new life. I wanted to make it easy on him I tried not to nag to much or push to hard. I opened the door for his children’s mothers to meet me and became the go between for his kids. I wanted a happy family a blended family. I always wanted ten kids and I got blessed with eleven. I wanted to be happy. 
He acted out like a child. Hell he still acts out like a child. But I never wanted him to be anything other than himself. A better version of himself would come with time I thought. It would get better, he would be better because he told me so. 
Time keeps moving along and I’m the one that’s changed. I’m angry and sad. I’m starting to be mean. I’m trying not to let it change me but the damage is done and I’m losing the fight, I’m losing myself, and I’m losing him. 
 I cry every time I think of leaving him. I worked so damn hard to get this. I’ve worked so hard to maintain it. Every time I try to go something keeps pulling me back. I hear his cries and see his pain but it’s not enough he’s not hurt enough. And I don’t want to see it when he does finally feel the pain. Because I don’t ever want to see him hurting even though I know I have to be the one to hurt him. I loved him then I love him now I’ll love him always. 

By C L Cunningham 

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