I see it hit the floor you see hit the floor I pick it up. The plastic feeling of it shocks my system like touching a hot pan on the stove. Is this what I think it is? After all the I’m sorry’s and the I promise I’ll change talks. Now this. It’s like a slap in the face with wet hands. I take off running because I want to hurt you I want to run away from this situation. I want to unsee it.
I hear your reason it seeps through my ears like white noise from a TV. It’s too many times too many reasons and they never matter. Your quicker on your toes now. The words just fall out now. You stutter less and lie more. I wish I didn’t hear it.
Yesterday I loved you. I had locked away all the times before and returned my heart to you. I’ve given you the pass to redemption to mend my broken pieces and put them back together only for them to be scattered around like a child throwing a fit. Is this your fit? When you don’t get your way is this how you get back at me? How you control me? How you punish me? And then you just want me to hold my pain inside you don’t want me to speak it. So I go quiet around you because if I open my mouth I’ll spit it out like word vomit. Let the pain flow out like watery bile from inside me and fill up a cup of years of disgust so you can drink it. But I know you won’t drink your the artful dodger of despair and I am your wife. Linked to your chain as it drags me around lifeless ,hopeless , loveless.
C L Cunningham