What do you do when you want to pay him back? How does the relationship survive the urge to go off and do some of the things he’s done to you? There’s a line in a song that says maybe if I paid him back I could move on. The problem is…what if I can’t. Move on;that is. What if I paid him back and it’s a big mistake that I won’t be able to undo.
But how do I go forward when I’m so sad inside. I’m hurt enough to cry but not enough to leave. Sometimes I just want him to feel like I do. Or maybe I just want to know I didn’t let him get away with it. I love him, I dedicated my life to him, he hurt me over and over. I took him back and I agreed to make it work. Maybe it’s not enough maybe sorry is not enough maybe gifts are not enough. Or maybe I just wanna pay him back.
By C L Cunningham