I’ve been up all nite putting the finishing touches on my book and these poems that I had wrote a lil while ago came to mind. Here they are a compilation of feelings. 


I’ll follow

Mind is worn heart is torn. Games have been played. Deals have been made. But feelings still remain. Could u take me as I am? Amidst the scars saved. These hands need your guidance. Take me pass my circumstance……. I wanna be lost in you. I wanna be lost in you…I can not see anyone but you. Be free to lead me where you want me to go.

By C L Cunningham

visions of you

As I listen to the rain drizzle off my window, the light taps sound like a heartbeat. It makes me think of you. I wish my head was on your chest. With just the flicker of light from the TV showing the outline of your lips as you breath in and out. Sleeping soundly I wanna take my finger and use it to outline the shape of your lips. I press my mouth against yours softly not to kiss you but just to taste your sweet essence.

By C L Cunningham

Questions so many

Is it possible to love someone and secretly hate them at the same time? 

To have passion for two men at once? I don’t  know if it’s passion or lust. I don’t even know who to trust. Hell everyone lies. Even I lie to myself about myself. What is love? And if I’m unsure of the definition how can I know if I feel it?….I just don’t want to hurt no more. But is that reason enough to walk away? I made promises. Do I keep mine even if he didn’t keep his? Questions….. So many questions….
By C L Cunningham


I put my trust in you. I can’t get that back It’s hard to connect to someone who can’t even hold you in their arms without holding their phone

Worried about me leaving yet not doing enough for me to stay

Can anyone meet me where our hearts connect and we become more than friends and less than lovers 

Going through the storm together still able to smile while dancing in the rain

Why when the going gets tough I’m down to stand and fight and you look for someone else to ease the pain of battle? Even though they aren’t helping you in the struggle I am

I’m the one getting all the backlash of your mistakes but they get the condom in your pocket to protect them from the bullshit

But you need me to stay and be your comforter when I don’t even have enough food in my belly for the strength to mustard up the lies to tell you so you can feel good enough to stay out all night

I put my trust in you to beat your demons and maybe I should have been fighting my own

It’s getting to heavy to carry your load and mine

I don’t want to be loved

I don’t wanna be loved 

I want to be treated with care

I want you to see me and want to protect me from the lies you tell yourself

I don’t want love if it means changing from who you are into a man you think I want you to be

I don’t need your love if it means changing me from who I plan to be

I just want you to want to be near me, in me, to believe in me for who I truly am 

I don’t want to be loved

 I just want to be yours forever

C L Cunningham

Well groomed and amazing 

Your so much more than that. Clothes don’t make a man you have charisma.You were born with that.

As well groomed as you are your so much more than that. You came from hard knocks and God’s grace and I understand that oh too well, because I’m from there too. It’s what makes you relatable and it makes you down to earth. Gives you something special to share for those still trying to make it out. Those who are thriving to be better than those concrete jungles of the world. It’s allowed you to inspire some and excite others. And please believe me when I say I’m  more than excited by you in more ways than one.
Today may not be our day. Hell this lifetime may not be our lifetime to share. But I want you to know that I’ve been watching you for so very long trying to get my courage up… well you know the song. I wish I could show you but I’m currently under prior obligations. But I want to say this… that all your imperfections look real beautifully perfect to me.
By C L Cunningham

Pay back

What do you do when you want to pay him back? How does the relationship survive the urge to go off and do some of the things he’s done to you? There’s a line in a song that says maybe if I paid him back I could move on. The problem is…what if I can’t. Move on;that is. What if I paid him back and it’s a big mistake that I won’t be able to undo. 
But how do I go forward when I’m so sad inside. I’m hurt enough to cry but not enough to leave. Sometimes I just want him to feel like I do. Or maybe I just want to know I didn’t let him get away with it. I love him, I dedicated my life to him, he hurt me over and over. I took him back and I agreed to make it work. Maybe it’s not enough maybe sorry is not enough maybe gifts are not enough. Or maybe I just wanna pay him back.

By C L Cunningham 

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