When they say to me oh you get to stay home must be nice. Bitch please are you kidding me? I busted my ass for 9 of these 12 years. When he was in jail I held down the house by myself and still put money on his books.
I went to school and worked for little to nothing to maintain. I spent those hours by the computer studying to take a job I was good at but not fulfilling. I made the flyers for his basement barber shop while he spent his nights in the streets doing God knows what. I typed his court papers and filed for his custody hearings so he could be able to be a father to his children after his six baby mamas felt bitter because he married me.
I’ve put my body through hell to try and produce an offspring for him knowing I couldn’t do it physically in the first place. Suffering time after time when the test would say yes but my body said no.
What the fuck you mean that I’m lucky. I’ve put myself last every time he’s been unsure of what it means to be a married man with responsibilities. Leaving me hanging on bill day and I didn’t make him feel no less as he found his way and started his new career. I said no I’ll work you go to school. When he got sick I took care of my ailing grandma, his kid, and mines by day and fucked him in his hospital bed at night.
I chose this life and all it’s ups and downs. I stayed his church girl for 8 yrs until I started the journey into finding myself and broke free from the ideal of what I should be doing. I can’t work outside the house because he don’t like it. And that’s ok because I’m gonna make me a career behind theses walls. So keep your condescending tones and your jealous attitude over what you think this is. Bitch I earned it and if you haven’t yet then put in more work and have a cup of shut your ass up.
By C L Cunningham